I managed to control my impulses after I’ve been to the gym. I wanted to hurt myself but not as bad as when I came home. I gotta get through this. It’s difficult though. I gotta try to get some sleep now. It’s 00.33 have to do laundry and clean tomorrow.

I managed to control my impulses after I’ve been to the gym. I wanted to hurt myself but not as bad as when I came home. I gotta get through this. It’s difficult though. I gotta try to get some sleep now. It’s 00.33 have to do laundry and clean tomorrow.

self harm anxiety meds medicine medication

I’ve been doing good. Really good actually. These past days have been great. Yesterday my brother and I took a bike ride (about 35km) and it was fun. And the day before I went to the gym and managed to improve my PB on deadlift. All’s good!
And now. Now I am home in my appartement again. My mom and dad are comming home today, so now I am back here. And I feel…. TERRIBLE! The anxiety just came at me out of the blue. I had to take a valiumto calm myself down. I would like to take more but I am going to the gym with my bff in 1h so I can’t be all “druged up”. But this anxiety is bad y’all! Goddamn I haven’t experienced anxiety this bad in a veeeeery long time. I am afraid of what I might be doing to myself later tonight. I feel very afraid. I know I should be inpatient right now. But I really don’t want to. I wanna hurt myself real bad though… We’ll see what happens.

I’ve been doing good. Really good actually. These past days have been great. Yesterday my brother and I took a bike ride (about 35km) and it was fun. And the day before I went to the gym and managed to improve my PB on deadlift. All’s good!

And now. Now I am home in my appartement again. My mom and dad are comming home today, so now I am back here. And I feel…. TERRIBLE! The anxiety just came at me out of the blue. I had to take a valiumto calm myself down. I would like to take more but I am going to the gym with my bff in 1h so I can’t be all “druged up”. But this anxiety is bad y’all! Goddamn I haven’t experienced anxiety this bad in a veeeeery long time. I am afraid of what I might be doing to myself later tonight. I feel very afraid. I know I should be inpatient right now. But I really don’t want to. I wanna hurt myself real bad though… We’ll see what happens.

selfie anxiety anxiety from hell self harm

Feeling calm. On my own here, it’s actually really relaxing. As I said before, country girl all the way. I am no city person. I wish I had money to buy a house but I probably never will. I am siting here reading my book and listening to the water against the bridge, in the sunset. Did I mention that I am relaxed? ;)

Feeling calm. On my own here, it’s actually really relaxing. As I said before, country girl all the way. I am no city person. I wish I had money to buy a house but I probably never will. I am siting here reading my book and listening to the water against the bridge, in the sunset. Did I mention that I am relaxed? ;)

selfie

Took my first pill of Voxra. I hope this medication will help me. The self harm urges are bad. REALLy bad, it’s like now when I have done it once, I let all my boundries go and I might as well go crazy with it. But I wont. I will control myself. But the irge is very strong.

I am gonna take a nap now and then head up to my parents house, they are not at home this week. So I am gonna look after the animals. Only bad thing is, there’s no internet. I mean none! You can’t even go out on internet on your phone. So that’s kina boring but I guess I will read instead.

medication lana del rey voxra

Been to my doctor. I got a new medicine, Voxra see how that turns out. I just wanna cut so bad. She wanted me to go inpatient.  I said thats not an option this week. I’ll be okay

Been to my doctor. I got a new medicine, Voxra see how that turns out. I just wanna cut so bad. She wanted me to go inpatient. I said thats not an option this week. I’ll be okay