Goddamn I am not doing well. I have an extra appointment with my psychologist tomorrow.  I dont care. I am just done. I told her that I was very suicidal.  She was gonna talk to the doctor today. See what happens tomorrow… now work.

Goddamn I am not doing well. I have an extra appointment with my psychologist tomorrow. I dont care. I am just done. I told her that I was very suicidal. She was gonna talk to the doctor today. See what happens tomorrow… now work.

Picture from saturday. 

Im going to work soon. It was kinda stressful yesterday. But it still went ok. I am almost broke, I have like 2000sek left on my account. I need payday to arrive! Had a meeting yesterday with my psychologist and former contact person at psychiatric rehab. I hated it. I am glad that my time over there has come to an end. 
Still self harming. Still depressed.  Still I get no help from anyone. I feel so lost.

Picture from saturday.

Im going to work soon. It was kinda stressful yesterday. But it still went ok. I am almost broke, I have like 2000sek left on my account. I need payday to arrive! Had a meeting yesterday with my psychologist and former contact person at psychiatric rehab. I hated it. I am glad that my time over there has come to an end.
Still self harming. Still depressed. Still I get no help from anyone. I feel so lost.

Yesterday was stressful. I had to be in charge of the 60+ workout. I guess it went okay. I am not specially good at it, but at least they got to workout. There was a lot to do at work after that as well. But it went okay. Today I am gonna siogn the papers, to become officially empolyed. Scary, but very very excited and happy!

I am not doing well at all. I want to overdose and cut myself. I really really want to. But I can’t fuck up the job. I have told my psychologist how bad I am doing. She doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know what to do. I am so depressed. I have TRIED to get help but nothing really happens. I am done. I am tired. Tired of feeling like a bureden, tired of feeling lonely, tired of being so depressed and sad, I am tired.
I have sprained my neck really bad, on top of everything. FUCK. It hurts bad, it even hurts up in my ear. I feel so tired and worn out, I really need a break but it will not happend. I don’t know how to fix this. I really don’t know. I want to go to the emergency room and just tell them: “I am done. I can’t do this anymore.” But the thing is, I don’t have time for it. :(

Yesterday was stressful. I had to be in charge of the 60+ workout. I guess it went okay. I am not specially good at it, but at least they got to workout. There was a lot to do at work after that as well. But it went okay. Today I am gonna siogn the papers, to become officially empolyed. Scary, but very very excited and happy!

I am not doing well at all. I want to overdose and cut myself. I really really want to. But I can’t fuck up the job. I have told my psychologist how bad I am doing. She doesn’t seem to care. I don’t know what to do. I am so depressed. I have TRIED to get help but nothing really happens. I am done. I am tired. Tired of feeling like a bureden, tired of feeling lonely, tired of being so depressed and sad, I am tired.

I have sprained my neck really bad, on top of everything. FUCK. It hurts bad, it even hurts up in my ear. I feel so tired and worn out, I really need a break but it will not happend. I don’t know how to fix this. I really don’t know. I want to go to the emergency room and just tell them: “I am done. I can’t do this anymore.” But the thing is, I don’t have time for it. :(

Just been to my psychologist. It did not go so well. I had alot of anxiety and we didn’t really speak of the same things. But was still a good meeting. Have to make some lunch and then its work. But I am gonna sneak in a power nap before work. Slept like 4h this night so. I want to be skinny. My bff has started working with my former pt. So she will probably lose a lot of weight and I will be sitting here all fat. I need to change my eating habits. I have to!!

Just been to my psychologist. It did not go so well. I had alot of anxiety and we didn’t really speak of the same things. But was still a good meeting. Have to make some lunch and then its work. But I am gonna sneak in a power nap before work. Slept like 4h this night so. I want to be skinny. My bff has started working with my former pt. So she will probably lose a lot of weight and I will be sitting here all fat. I need to change my eating habits. I have to!!